Spilling the Beans

I ran out of gas the other day.

Again.

You would’ve thought I had learned my lesson.

In reality I did learn my lesson… the first time.

I was newly married.

Adam was out of town.

It was cold and I had to get to Wichita for a conference.

I wasn’t wearing a jacket.

I might’ve cried…

And I had to call my father-in-law to rescue me on the side of the road.

Ten minutes later, I was rescued.

Adam got a tearful phone call.

I got “looks” when I walked into the conference late.

I learned to always bring a jacket….

AND to never let the ‘Fuel Level Low’ message make an appearance again.

Ever.

So, this time I knew I needed to get gas.

I had told myself while driving home from Bible study the night before, “Self, you need to fill up before you leave for school in the morning or something horribly wrong will happen.”

But I forgot and ended up alongside the road until a nice man (stranger) offered to give me a ride to my house.

I took him up on the offer.

What can I say, I was wearing heels!  Besides, I had Adam on the phone…and I was totally willing to jump out of the vehicle if he missed the turnoff for our house.

Anyway, back to the point.

It’s not like this was the first major thing I have forgotten lately.

I recently made a trip to town for the sole purpose of getting a giant jar of peanut butter.

I was almost out.

And considering the fact that I’m eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches like a rabid, peanut butter & jelly crazed banshee these days, I thought it would be smart to get another jar.

I NEEDED to get another jar.

It was VERY necessary to get the jar.

But when I returned home from town and unpacked all of the bags of food, I discovered the one important item that I needed was nowhere in sight.

Because I had forgotten to buy my giant jar of peanut butter.

I almost had a breakdown.

I might’ve cried.

Speaking of crying…

With all the peanut butter & jelly I’ve been NEEDING to eat, I have given in to purchasing stretchy-waisted pants.

I’ve realized I can’t suck my gut in any longer!

Oh, the humanity!

Never in a million years did I ever think I’d ever have to wear stretchy-waisted pants.

I mean, I’m walking the mutts everyday.

I’ve increased my fruit and vegetable and calcium intake.

I just CAN’T drink anything other than water because it tastes gross…

BUT I still have to wear stretchy-waisted pants!!

Stretchy-waisted pants mess with your mind, man!

I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I know that lack of sleep is linked to people having to wear stretchy-waisted pants.

But I’ve been getting a lot of sleep.  Forensics season is over and I still catch myself dozing off on the couch, nodding off during Bible study, curling up on the floor in the living room, and going to bed at ridiculously early hours.

I’ve been sleeping really, really well–except for the 3am urges to wake up and go to the bathroom.

Come to think of it, I have to go to the bathroom a lot these days.

Maybe it’s all the water I’m drinking.

Weird.

I mean, come on!

It’s like another life form is taking over my body!!

Adam thinks so, too.